I literally gasped and started making weird gaspy sounds when i found out this updated! quite by chance! yesterday!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! i have exams so i'll likely play after a while, but goodness gracious, thank you so much for your hard work!!!!
Love the new update so far but I think there might be a problem? unless it is supposed to end here, usually it would show something though? anyway when I was playin, it ended like this,
I like the writing style here and I'm interested to see where this story goes, though I quickly started to resent every single one of the characters, including the MC. It gets pretty grating to have the MC constantly showing how angry and upset they are, only to have all of the other characters constantly chide and belittle them for it. I would appreciate some options that are a little more cold or unemotional, maybe some options that allow them to use some coping mechanisms they've developed to control themself? Since they're a trained agent, it seems a little weird that they don't seem to have any self control whatsoever. The drawn out descriptions about how sad, wet, pathetic little Rohan looks every time you say anything mean make it feel like the MC is being forced to feel bad for them - I don't know if that was intentional. I very much appreciated the option to flat out kill Rohan (the only sane option imo, but to each their own).
I'm agree about Rohan. When we belittle him, the narration makes us feel like we just kick a skinny little puppy 😂 I kinda like to do it to him, but it also makes me feel bad. But still like it 😂
Ayo dropping in to say i'm digging this game a lot!! Don't bother with these bozos lecturing you about how to write it, how to tag it and circle jerking about terms for warnings xd They clicked the spicy option themselves, consensually, and had like 3 chances to chicken out, even. They're acting like you're forcing them to take Rohan's route. Don't like it don't click it, this game is not commissioned privately by anyone to decide what goes in it.
Ikr? I don't want to be mean, but I will anyway 😂 there's people in this community that TOO DEMANDING to fit their comfort. People who just can't fathom the consequences of their choice. It's like mad that a horror movie had ghosts in it or amputee porn of having amputated character.
(I'm not writing this to judge people who have sensitive case like trauma, but one consensually choosing something they wouldn't like and still complaining)
This game is so enjoyable! Love it when MC is strong and can kick ass fr. The plot is also special and intriguing, there's still a lot to uncover and yet I'm already invested.
Rhaxa and Nash are my favs rn. Rhaxa specifically, I adore them (I wanna try petting an alien so bad)
I don't particularly care about the others (althou I dislike them all except for Skylar) but Rohan pissed me off so bad, I absolutely despise him. He said it wasn't anything personal but the way he kept taunting and smirking is just asking for death fr. MC already suffered enough and yet he's still going at it, and everyone expects MC to 'play nice' just for, what, that jerk's so-called useless help? Idk why theyre always judging MC when it's absolutely valid to want to attack Rohan. What he did is not some small matter that should be brushed off, it feels absolutely violating to be drugged and operated on, and yet everyone acts like it's no big deal which made me mad af. I wanted to shoot him but idk if that would make me lose the chance to get IVI back so I punched him instead. Wish I could shoot him later thou bcoz I'm not tolerating his ass. Don't know why he's even an RO, idc what reasons he has, what he did and the way he acts after is absolutely vile and sickening.
was coming to see if there’s any word on an update then saw the comments are an absolute fucking cluster. wouldn’t even blame the author if they ghosted atp.
Honestly with all the criticisms in the comments I was expecting more of a bite to this IF lol
Overall I like it I actually think the companions can be quite nice in their own ways despite reading comments saying their only mean - like Nash off the bat is a sweetheart - in the beginning Leanna is just trying to work things out in the moment to survive so she comes off as "harsh" but literally right after Rohan is being a prick (which they fully send him off as to break off the tension) she comes to the MC and directly shows cares for how they feel
The alien (sorry can't remember their name) is stand offish but it's shown they clearly have a good heart 1) because their being hunted/exiled from their kind and 2) they show a clear care for joia's whole being and they even explain their reasoning for not trusting us at the start which the MC shares mutually back because their an alien lol
I like Rohan as a character I think he's the foil to the MC and it could be the Luka alien stage lover in me but I like that bit of toxicity - I recall seeing a comment asking why anyone would ever romance him and its the same reason people play IF where you can be a murderer/villain - and as a sidenote I felt like the whole "surgery" and forced tranquilizer was way more traumatizing then the intercourse (but maybe its diff if you dont choose to sleep with rohan I'll have to see)
I love your story so much , I am currently replaying. Again.
I missed this whole ordeal regarding the outrage some have 'cause of Rohan and the content warnings and such and am...kinda confused. Everything that happens in this story was properly warned of? Well, but I get that the way the MC is treated can be triggering for certain people -especially cause its kinda easy to forget that the MC is indeed first and foremost a dubious character -not by choice I guess, but its still there. In my second playthrough where I played a kinda kind MC I was kinda confused, too -kept forgetting the background of this person 😂 one isn't suddenly a good person just because Joia bought some specks of kindness to the surface of the MCs deformed soul 🫠
My favorite thing in this IF ist how...deep the trauma of the MC is. Well written. It's not the typical way a person with trauma is depicted and I LOVE it! It's such a treat to read ❤️
Im so invested, even after all this time!
In a sea of interactive fiction this one is imprinted in my mind while many others tend to disappear in the background after one playthrough.
Congrats to that, its not easy to achieve and definately sth to be proud of.
You are doing great, I really appreciate how you handled the harsh accusations in one of the other comments on here. Respect, its certainly not easy to handle a triggered person with trauma -and thats a compliment coming from someone that works daily with deeply traumatized people.
I am so intrigued how your story will progress ✨ Can't wait for the update 🥰
The content warning should include rape, not just the word assault.
This was a rough read, and I don’t usually go out of my way to make comments like this, but I think the sensitive nature of this subject matter can so easily be mishandled and it’s important to talk about it. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say that the WIP might benefit from some additional/ more varied sensitivity readers.
Everyone seems to inexplicably single out the MC, patronising and antagonising them, or making inappropriate quips, meanwhile the MC is forced into, not only proximity, but conversation with their smug rapist multiple times.
To each their own, but I cannot begin to fathom how this route would turn into a relationship of any kind. The MC can barely stand or see straight, but it’s apparently a necessary part of Rohan’s development to come back for seconds and needle their victim? That's pretty gross for a character that we’re supposed to grow to understand. What more do they want, a kidney? There is no plausible way a character like this can be redeemed.
I thought we would get to know more about the protagonist, and I’m disappointed there’s been no deeper insight into their motivations or their past. As far as I can tell, the MC is almost exclusively reactive; excluding the violent removal of a character, they have yet to make much of an impact on the plot.
Any expression of anguish or anger is undermined, ridiculed, or judged by both the characters and the writing. If you choose to confront your rapist there’s multiple pages describing how pathetic and pained they look, and everyone treats you, exclusively, with extreme prejudice. And I get it, there needs to be a restriction on full throttle violence in order to get the character interactions rolling, but satisfactory dialogue options are very sparse.
I found that many of the standard responses were odd, the tone and dialogue frequently undermining anything approaching a somber or sensitive depiction of darker themes or trauma. I don’t want to start arguments, I don’t want to be sassy and waggle my eyebrows, or giggle at a joke, I’m dead inside Nash. MC doesn’t even get a moment to themselves to sit with their feelings or cry. And the reader doesn't get any insight into what’s going on with their psychology. It’s like they're a blank slate.
On the other hand, if you wanted to play as the hardened character type, there’s a distinct lack of options to be callous, aloof, or calculating. I'd take cynical, gallows humour over letting everyone know how I'm feeling at any given time. MC’s tumultuous emotions are (embarrassingly) on full display at all times, the scenes constantly serving up our innards as fodder for the other characters to react to with either amusement or irritation. It’s so frequent that it starts to feel like a cheap shortcut to character interaction, and just made me resent not only my own character, but everyone else for acting like insufferable vultures. Is this what serves as entertainment in space? Don’t they have anything else going on? (Playing a game of cards with a rapist maybe?)
I don’t know if I’ve missed something, or was in an outraged haze, but I’ve had minimal interactions with the other characters, and struggle to remember anything about them (apart from the nice moment where K gives the MC a jacket, a pretty much isolated act of non-intrusive kindness). The relationships feel like they haven't even begun, despite the time we’ve spent in close proximity with the group. My impression of the time spent on the ship so far is the MC just wandering from room to room, contemplating their physical discomfort whilst being intensely scrutinised by everyone they occupy space with. Ironically, the only relationship that feels like it evolves in any capacity is with Rohan, for “better” or worse (STOP watching me dude). Nash is just sort of there, a vaguely judgemental room divider.
As for Nash, they’re perhaps one of the only people who might be in our corner, yet when the MC first wakes up, after they ask how we're doing, ‘good guy’ Nash’s next inclination is to indulge their petty jealousy over their crush getting intimate with someone else, never mind that it wasactuallyrape! Thanks mate 👍🏻
Not to mention, if the MC is the best operative on offer, what are the rest like? Will the MC ever best their second arch-nemesis: hard surfaces? Despite being a highly trained agent, they spend virtually every interaction on the back foot, unable to school their expression or suppress their emotions, let alone demonstrate skill or expertise (except when K said I did a good job tightening a pipe or whatever, thanks K 👍🏻).
They've yet to have a chance to demonstrate their capability at all, kicking off with a bad streak right from get go, and are further reduced to a stumbling, raw nerve of a person. Which, ok, fine, I can roll with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but I was constantly left wondering why, despite a lifetime of training, brutality, depersonalisation etc., there is so little to show for it? Would their experiences not have desensitised them somewhat, or provided interesting mechanisms to fall back on? I wanted to know more! Instead it’s like the character is experiencing the world afresh, without any internal context or history for the reader to grip onto. The one moment where my MC pulled their head out of their ass and said something to smooth things over with the pick up crew was so uncharacteristically practical that I had to re-read to it to confirm it was actually me speaking. I was gnawing at the bars of my enclosure to experience some shred of cool-action-agent content at least once, or to say something stinging or observant at least once.
I do wish the MC had more opportunities to flex their skills and force of will, but the one time the reader gets any modicum of sweet catharsis is when you pull a trigger/ throw a punch, something anyone could do, and which is swiftly followed by a narrative slap on the wrist for being a meanie (not in front of the CHILDREN! :O) and 15 pages of “look what you’ve done they’re still bleeding :( now they’re scared of you“ Ok? Good? What reason have I been given to care about what any of them think of me?
It's frustrating that there’s no hard edge to the character and their thoughts, and no grey area to occupy for any length of time as a reader. There’s a punishing undercurrent of persecution to everything, and some of the writing is positively indulgent in its attempts to make you feel like a piece of crap, page after page, the message couldn’t be any clearer. I felt like I was reading the historical account of a villain’s life, as written by an evangelical monk. There’s a lack of context for the reader, subtle or otherwise, to bridge this huge chasm between how we view the MC and how the other characters view them. I suspect it isn't intentional, but it felt like I was playing a fallen character in a morality play, just waiting for some big moral lesson to rear its head, except I haven’t even had the personal pleasure of sinning yet.
Lastly, I never signed up to be a spy-parent, so no stern talking-to necessary K, you can have ‘em, congrats on becoming a father! I’ll be paying my child support in kidneys. Also, sweetie, don’t hang out with the rapist.
Excellent comment, you touched on so many of my same thoughts and feelings, especially this part: "Any expression of anguish or anger is undermined, ridiculed, or judged by both the characters and the writing.". You should leave this as a review if you haven't already!
I know it's been stated by the author that it's supposed to be that way with all the other characters being wary of a MC (a stranger to them) who acts anything less than cordial but as a reader it's absolutely miserable and there's no reprieve at all. And the text itself doesn't offer any consolation either, making it feel less like just the characters' reactions to being in a stressful situation with a potentially volatile stranger, and more like active punishment for not being accepting of the extremely violent assault inflicted upon them and being forced to play nice in close proximity with their assaulter. That assaulter, meanwhile, seems to get much more consideration which just feels so... bad.
Also I have to say the fact that the reactions are more or less the same even if you DO act cordial, not making threats just trying to deal with the situation after going through something truly horrible, makes me feel like there's supposed to be a "canon" route where the MC acts unhinged no matter what. Otherwise it really doesn't mesh well how everyone acts like the MC is a bomb about to explode and if they so much as step one foot out of line everyone's calling a code red.
And yes, I know it was also previously stated that Rohan isn't really a rapist even if you chose for the MC to be intimate with them before being physically violated, but I have always been under the impression that sexual activity under false pretences (e.g. lying about your identity) does count as rape, I guess that's just my personal opinion. Even in the route without being intimate with them, there does seem to be a clear parallel with rape (à la the scene in the 2014 Maleficent movie in which her wings are taken), being left unconscious outside on the street with a piece missing... And to be honest, even if there were no parallel, it's just so violent and violating that picturing and feeling the aftermath where the MC just has to carry on and isn't allowed to show an ounce of hurt or anger without being treated like they're indiscriminately hysterical left me feeling queasier than the scene itself.
I like your reference to Maleficent; it’s definitely a violation of more than one kind. I don’t know what else there is to say, I only wish it was handled better.
As for player agency, I definitely think there’s a way to make the reader feel understood and seen, whilst still communicating that the main character is in an unfamiliar and helpless headspace.
You’re right on the mark about the ‘canon’ MC feeling; I played it both angry (super unsatisfying with the exception of one choice), and then tried the more defeated/ cooperative options and was trying to put my finger on why the choices and outcomes weren’t jelling no matter what I did. I came away confused or resentful after every interaction.
If I’m playing a character that’s a “skilled infiltrator”, who is calm and unassuming, who didn’t brandish a weapon, then what about her would be so intimidating that everyone consistently turns on her? What would warrant immediate suspicion about a young woman saving a girl from the rubble and getting onto the last transport they can find? What about her would make other characters comfortable being witness to a man gloating about assaulting her? Why am I always getting the stink eye? Am I wearing a “make killing great again” company baseball cap or something??
In retrospect, it feels like there’s a broader perspective that’s missing from the writing, which makes it less interactive and accessible imo.
In your country, if you pick up a one night stand in a bar and in the morning they steal your wallet, can you get them charged with rape? Legally?
Because you can't in my country. In all the legal definitions I have found it mentions not consenting or being unable to consent (drunk, minor etc). Ulterior motives don't seem to be enough to legally charge someone who had consensual sex with rape. Is it different in your country?
I'm asking this because it already has a warning for "sex under false pretense", which is exactly what happens...
Rape isn’t just defined as a sexually violent act.
I didn’t come here in the interest of discussing what constitutes rape or a victim (which has little to do with any given country’s laws anyway), but since your question is easy to answer, here are the results of a cursory google search:
Rape by deception, also known as rape by fraud, is a crime that occurs when someone deceives a victim into having sex by making false claims. The victim would not have consented to the sexual act if they had not been deceived. Rape by deception is recognised in the laws of many jurisdictions, including the UK and the US.
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ONG PROJECT HADEA UPDATE
The game seems to stop while talking to the doctor. Is this a bug or where it ends currently..?
I literally gasped and started making weird gaspy sounds when i found out this updated! quite by chance! yesterday!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! i have exams so i'll likely play after a while, but goodness gracious, thank you so much for your hard work!!!!
Love the new update so far but I think there might be a problem? unless it is supposed to end here, usually it would show something though? anyway when I was playin, it ended like this,
If you knew how often I check to see if you’ve posted anything for this….. Obsessive might be the word used. I’m so excited! Thanks, nyehilism!
can you make it downloadable? i wanna play it while in my car
wait how do you check the directory T___T
It's in your HUD!
Is this still being worked on?
yep. you can follow the author on tumblr if you're worried 👍🏻
Really good game. Highly recommend.
joia is my daughter now, i have claimed her as my spawn.
Joia bring me Joi
(Imma leave)
I like the writing style here and I'm interested to see where this story goes, though I quickly started to resent every single one of the characters, including the MC. It gets pretty grating to have the MC constantly showing how angry and upset they are, only to have all of the other characters constantly chide and belittle them for it. I would appreciate some options that are a little more cold or unemotional, maybe some options that allow them to use some coping mechanisms they've developed to control themself? Since they're a trained agent, it seems a little weird that they don't seem to have any self control whatsoever. The drawn out descriptions about how sad, wet, pathetic little Rohan looks every time you say anything mean make it feel like the MC is being forced to feel bad for them - I don't know if that was intentional. I very much appreciated the option to flat out kill Rohan (the only sane option imo, but to each their own).
I'm agree about Rohan. When we belittle him, the narration makes us feel like we just kick a skinny little puppy 😂 I kinda like to do it to him, but it also makes me feel bad. But still like it 😂
Ayo dropping in to say i'm digging this game a lot!! Don't bother with these bozos lecturing you about how to write it, how to tag it and circle jerking about terms for warnings xd They clicked the spicy option themselves, consensually, and had like 3 chances to chicken out, even. They're acting like you're forcing them to take Rohan's route. Don't like it don't click it, this game is not commissioned privately by anyone to decide what goes in it.
Ikr? I don't want to be mean, but I will anyway 😂 there's people in this community that TOO DEMANDING to fit their comfort. People who just can't fathom the consequences of their choice. It's like mad that a horror movie had ghosts in it or amputee porn of having amputated character.
(I'm not writing this to judge people who have sensitive case like trauma, but one consensually choosing something they wouldn't like and still complaining)
love this game! hope the author isn't discouraged by people who can't handle characters more problematic than wile e. coyote
FDHDHDFSDAGDF
This game is so enjoyable! Love it when MC is strong and can kick ass fr. The plot is also special and intriguing, there's still a lot to uncover and yet I'm already invested.
Rhaxa and Nash are my favs rn. Rhaxa specifically, I adore them (I wanna try petting an alien so bad)
I don't particularly care about the others (althou I dislike them all except for Skylar) but Rohan pissed me off so bad, I absolutely despise him. He said it wasn't anything personal but the way he kept taunting and smirking is just asking for death fr. MC already suffered enough and yet he's still going at it, and everyone expects MC to 'play nice' just for, what, that jerk's so-called useless help? Idk why theyre always judging MC when it's absolutely valid to want to attack Rohan. What he did is not some small matter that should be brushed off, it feels absolutely violating to be drugged and operated on, and yet everyone acts like it's no big deal which made me mad af. I wanted to shoot him but idk if that would make me lose the chance to get IVI back so I punched him instead. Wish I could shoot him later thou bcoz I'm not tolerating his ass. Don't know why he's even an RO, idc what reasons he has, what he did and the way he acts after is absolutely vile and sickening.
REALL I FUCKING HATE ROHAN TOO
OHHHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! IT'S SOOOO GOOOOD <3
was coming to see if there’s any word on an update then saw the comments are an absolute fucking cluster. wouldn’t even blame the author if they ghosted atp.
need more Joia bonding scenes !!
Honestly with all the criticisms in the comments I was expecting more of a bite to this IF lol
Overall I like it I actually think the companions can be quite nice in their own ways despite reading comments saying their only mean - like Nash off the bat is a sweetheart - in the beginning Leanna is just trying to work things out in the moment to survive so she comes off as "harsh" but literally right after Rohan is being a prick (which they fully send him off as to break off the tension) she comes to the MC and directly shows cares for how they feel
The alien (sorry can't remember their name) is stand offish but it's shown they clearly have a good heart 1) because their being hunted/exiled from their kind and 2) they show a clear care for joia's whole being and they even explain their reasoning for not trusting us at the start which the MC shares mutually back because their an alien lol
I like Rohan as a character I think he's the foil to the MC and it could be the Luka alien stage lover in me but I like that bit of toxicity - I recall seeing a comment asking why anyone would ever romance him and its the same reason people play IF where you can be a murderer/villain - and as a sidenote I felt like the whole "surgery" and forced tranquilizer was way more traumatizing then the intercourse (but maybe its diff if you dont choose to sleep with rohan I'll have to see)
Lmao, I thought of that too. Rohan just gives Luka vibes—their appearance is also similar to Luka. 😭
I love your story so much , I am currently replaying. Again.
I missed this whole ordeal regarding the outrage some have 'cause of Rohan and the content warnings and such and am...kinda confused. Everything that happens in this story was properly warned of? Well, but I get that the way the MC is treated can be triggering for certain people -especially cause its kinda easy to forget that the MC is indeed first and foremost a dubious character -not by choice I guess, but its still there. In my second playthrough where I played a kinda kind MC I was kinda confused, too -kept forgetting the background of this person 😂 one isn't suddenly a good person just because Joia bought some specks of kindness to the surface of the MCs deformed soul 🫠
My favorite thing in this IF ist how...deep the trauma of the MC is. Well written. It's not the typical way a person with trauma is depicted and I LOVE it! It's such a treat to read ❤️
Im so invested, even after all this time!
In a sea of interactive fiction this one is imprinted in my mind while many others tend to disappear in the background after one playthrough.
Congrats to that, its not easy to achieve and definately sth to be proud of.
You are doing great, I really appreciate how you handled the harsh accusations in one of the other comments on here. Respect, its certainly not easy to handle a triggered person with trauma -and thats a compliment coming from someone that works daily with deeply traumatized people.
I am so intrigued how your story will progress ✨ Can't wait for the update 🥰
I love Joia she's my daughter I only had Joia for a day and a half but if anything happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
The content warning should include rape, not just the word assault.
This was a rough read, and I don’t usually go out of my way to make comments like this, but I think the sensitive nature of this subject matter can so easily be mishandled and it’s important to talk about it. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say that the WIP might benefit from some additional/ more varied sensitivity readers.
Everyone seems to inexplicably single out the MC, patronising and antagonising them, or making inappropriate quips, meanwhile the MC is forced into, not only proximity, but conversation with their smug rapist multiple times.
To each their own, but I cannot begin to fathom how this route would turn into a relationship of any kind. The MC can barely stand or see straight, but it’s apparently a necessary part of Rohan’s development to come back for seconds and needle their victim? That's pretty gross for a character that we’re supposed to grow to understand. What more do they want, a kidney? There is no plausible way a character like this can be redeemed.
I thought we would get to know more about the protagonist, and I’m disappointed there’s been no deeper insight into their motivations or their past. As far as I can tell, the MC is almost exclusively reactive; excluding the violent removal of a character, they have yet to make much of an impact on the plot.
Any expression of anguish or anger is undermined, ridiculed, or judged by both the characters and the writing. If you choose to confront your rapist there’s multiple pages describing how pathetic and pained they look, and everyone treats you, exclusively, with extreme prejudice. And I get it, there needs to be a restriction on full throttle violence in order to get the character interactions rolling, but satisfactory dialogue options are very sparse.
I found that many of the standard responses were odd, the tone and dialogue frequently undermining anything approaching a somber or sensitive depiction of darker themes or trauma. I don’t want to start arguments, I don’t want to be sassy and waggle my eyebrows, or giggle at a joke, I’m dead inside Nash. MC doesn’t even get a moment to themselves to sit with their feelings or cry. And the reader doesn't get any insight into what’s going on with their psychology. It’s like they're a blank slate.
On the other hand, if you wanted to play as the hardened character type, there’s a distinct lack of options to be callous, aloof, or calculating. I'd take cynical, gallows humour over letting everyone know how I'm feeling at any given time. MC’s tumultuous emotions are (embarrassingly) on full display at all times, the scenes constantly serving up our innards as fodder for the other characters to react to with either amusement or irritation. It’s so frequent that it starts to feel like a cheap shortcut to character interaction, and just made me resent not only my own character, but everyone else for acting like insufferable vultures. Is this what serves as entertainment in space? Don’t they have anything else going on? (Playing a game of cards with a rapist maybe?)
I don’t know if I’ve missed something, or was in an outraged haze, but I’ve had minimal interactions with the other characters, and struggle to remember anything about them (apart from the nice moment where K gives the MC a jacket, a pretty much isolated act of non-intrusive kindness). The relationships feel like they haven't even begun, despite the time we’ve spent in close proximity with the group. My impression of the time spent on the ship so far is the MC just wandering from room to room, contemplating their physical discomfort whilst being intensely scrutinised by everyone they occupy space with. Ironically, the only relationship that feels like it evolves in any capacity is with Rohan, for “better” or worse (STOP watching me dude). Nash is just sort of there, a vaguely judgemental room divider.
As for Nash, they’re perhaps one of the only people who might be in our corner, yet when the MC first wakes up, after they ask how we're doing, ‘good guy’ Nash’s next inclination is to indulge their petty jealousy over their crush getting intimate with someone else, never mind that it was actually rape! Thanks mate 👍🏻
Not to mention, if the MC is the best operative on offer, what are the rest like? Will the MC ever best their second arch-nemesis: hard surfaces? Despite being a highly trained agent, they spend virtually every interaction on the back foot, unable to school their expression or suppress their emotions, let alone demonstrate skill or expertise (except when K said I did a good job tightening a pipe or whatever, thanks K 👍🏻).
They've yet to have a chance to demonstrate their capability at all, kicking off with a bad streak right from get go, and are further reduced to a stumbling, raw nerve of a person. Which, ok, fine, I can roll with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but I was constantly left wondering why, despite a lifetime of training, brutality, depersonalisation etc., there is so little to show for it? Would their experiences not have desensitised them somewhat, or provided interesting mechanisms to fall back on? I wanted to know more! Instead it’s like the character is experiencing the world afresh, without any internal context or history for the reader to grip onto. The one moment where my MC pulled their head out of their ass and said something to smooth things over with the pick up crew was so uncharacteristically practical that I had to re-read to it to confirm it was actually me speaking. I was gnawing at the bars of my enclosure to experience some shred of cool-action-agent content at least once, or to say something stinging or observant at least once.
I do wish the MC had more opportunities to flex their skills and force of will, but the one time the reader gets any modicum of sweet catharsis is when you pull a trigger/ throw a punch, something anyone could do, and which is swiftly followed by a narrative slap on the wrist for being a meanie (not in front of the CHILDREN! :O) and 15 pages of “look what you’ve done they’re still bleeding :( now they’re scared of you“ Ok? Good? What reason have I been given to care about what any of them think of me?
It's frustrating that there’s no hard edge to the character and their thoughts, and no grey area to occupy for any length of time as a reader. There’s a punishing undercurrent of persecution to everything, and some of the writing is positively indulgent in its attempts to make you feel like a piece of crap, page after page, the message couldn’t be any clearer. I felt like I was reading the historical account of a villain’s life, as written by an evangelical monk. There’s a lack of context for the reader, subtle or otherwise, to bridge this huge chasm between how we view the MC and how the other characters view them. I suspect it isn't intentional, but it felt like I was playing a fallen character in a morality play, just waiting for some big moral lesson to rear its head, except I haven’t even had the personal pleasure of sinning yet.
Lastly, I never signed up to be a spy-parent, so no stern talking-to necessary K, you can have ‘em, congrats on becoming a father! I’ll be paying my child support in kidneys. Also, sweetie, don’t hang out with the rapist.
Excellent comment, you touched on so many of my same thoughts and feelings, especially this part: "Any expression of anguish or anger is undermined, ridiculed, or judged by both the characters and the writing.". You should leave this as a review if you haven't already!
I know it's been stated by the author that it's supposed to be that way with all the other characters being wary of a MC (a stranger to them) who acts anything less than cordial but as a reader it's absolutely miserable and there's no reprieve at all. And the text itself doesn't offer any consolation either, making it feel less like just the characters' reactions to being in a stressful situation with a potentially volatile stranger, and more like active punishment for not being accepting of the extremely violent assault inflicted upon them and being forced to play nice in close proximity with their assaulter. That assaulter, meanwhile, seems to get much more consideration which just feels so... bad.
Also I have to say the fact that the reactions are more or less the same even if you DO act cordial, not making threats just trying to deal with the situation after going through something truly horrible, makes me feel like there's supposed to be a "canon" route where the MC acts unhinged no matter what. Otherwise it really doesn't mesh well how everyone acts like the MC is a bomb about to explode and if they so much as step one foot out of line everyone's calling a code red.
And yes, I know it was also previously stated that Rohan isn't really a rapist even if you chose for the MC to be intimate with them before being physically violated, but I have always been under the impression that sexual activity under false pretences (e.g. lying about your identity) does count as rape, I guess that's just my personal opinion. Even in the route without being intimate with them, there does seem to be a clear parallel with rape (à la the scene in the 2014 Maleficent movie in which her wings are taken), being left unconscious outside on the street with a piece missing... And to be honest, even if there were no parallel, it's just so violent and violating that picturing and feeling the aftermath where the MC just has to carry on and isn't allowed to show an ounce of hurt or anger without being treated like they're indiscriminately hysterical left me feeling queasier than the scene itself.
I like your reference to Maleficent; it’s definitely a violation of more than one kind. I don’t know what else there is to say, I only wish it was handled better.
As for player agency, I definitely think there’s a way to make the reader feel understood and seen, whilst still communicating that the main character is in an unfamiliar and helpless headspace.
You’re right on the mark about the ‘canon’ MC feeling; I played it both angry (super unsatisfying with the exception of one choice), and then tried the more defeated/ cooperative options and was trying to put my finger on why the choices and outcomes weren’t jelling no matter what I did. I came away confused or resentful after every interaction.
If I’m playing a character that’s a “skilled infiltrator”, who is calm and unassuming, who didn’t brandish a weapon, then what about her would be so intimidating that everyone consistently turns on her? What would warrant immediate suspicion about a young woman saving a girl from the rubble and getting onto the last transport they can find? What about her would make other characters comfortable being witness to a man gloating about assaulting her? Why am I always getting the stink eye? Am I wearing a “make killing great again” company baseball cap or something??
In retrospect, it feels like there’s a broader perspective that’s missing from the writing, which makes it less interactive and accessible imo.
One question for you.
In your country, if you pick up a one night stand in a bar and in the morning they steal your wallet, can you get them charged with rape? Legally?
Because you can't in my country. In all the legal definitions I have found it mentions not consenting or being unable to consent (drunk, minor etc). Ulterior motives don't seem to be enough to legally charge someone who had consensual sex with rape. Is it different in your country?
I'm asking this because it already has a warning for "sex under false pretense", which is exactly what happens...
Rape isn’t just defined as a sexually violent act.
I didn’t come here in the interest of discussing what constitutes rape or a victim (which has little to do with any given country’s laws anyway), but since your question is easy to answer, here are the results of a cursory google search:
Rape by deception, also known as rape by fraud, is a crime that occurs when someone deceives a victim into having sex by making false claims. The victim would not have consented to the sexual act if they had not been deceived. Rape by deception is recognised in the laws of many jurisdictions, including the UK and the US.
This would not classify as rape by deception.
Cackling at being downvoted because somebody googled, meanwhile I’m literally an attorney.
"[Codename] looks like they are about to drop dead-"
Damn- Thanks for that
Have a great day!
You too!