The content warning should include rape, not just the word assault. 

This was a rough read, and I don’t usually go out of my way to make comments like this, but I think the sensitive nature of this subject matter can so easily be mishandled and it’s important to talk about it. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say that the WIP might benefit from some additional/ more varied sensitivity readers. 

Everyone seems to inexplicably single out the MC, patronising and antagonising them, or making inappropriate quips, meanwhile the MC is forced into, not only proximity, but conversation with their smug rapist multiple times. 

To each their own, but I cannot begin to fathom how this route would turn into a relationship of any kind. The MC can barely stand or see straight, but it’s apparently a necessary part of Rohan’s development to come back for seconds and needle their victim? That's pretty gross for a character that we’re supposed to grow to understand. What more do they want, a kidney? There is no plausible way a character like this can be redeemed. 

I thought we would get to know more about the protagonist, and I’m disappointed there’s been no deeper insight into their motivations or their past. As far as I can tell, the MC is almost exclusively reactive; excluding the violent removal of a character, they have yet to make much of an impact on the plot.

Any expression of anguish or anger is undermined, ridiculed, or judged by both the characters and the writing. If you choose to confront your rapist there’s multiple pages describing how pathetic and pained they look, and everyone treats you, exclusively, with extreme prejudice. And I get it, there needs to be a restriction on full throttle violence in order to get the character interactions rolling, but satisfactory dialogue options are very sparse. 

I found that many of the standard responses were odd, the tone and dialogue frequently undermining anything approaching a somber or sensitive depiction of darker themes or trauma. I don’t want to start arguments, I don’t want to be sassy and waggle my eyebrows, or giggle at a joke, I’m dead inside Nash. MC doesn’t even get a moment to themselves to sit with their feelings or cry. And the reader doesn't get any insight into what’s going on with their psychology. It’s like they're a blank slate. 

On the other hand, if you wanted to play as the hardened character type, there’s a distinct lack of options to be callous, aloof, or calculating. I'd take cynical, gallows humour over letting everyone know how I'm feeling at any given time. MC’s tumultuous emotions are (embarrassingly) on full display at all times, the scenes constantly serving up our innards as fodder for the other characters to react to with either amusement or irritation. It’s so frequent that it starts to feel like a cheap shortcut to character interaction, and just made me resent not only my own character, but everyone else for acting like insufferable vultures. Is this what serves as entertainment in space? Don’t they have anything else going on? (Playing a game of cards with a rapist maybe?)

I don’t know if I’ve missed something, or was in an outraged haze, but I’ve had minimal interactions with the other characters, and struggle to remember anything about them (apart from the nice moment where K gives the MC a jacket, a pretty much isolated act of non-intrusive kindness). The relationships feel like they haven't even begun, despite the time we’ve spent in close proximity with the group. My impression of the time spent on the ship so far is the MC just wandering from room to room, contemplating their physical discomfort whilst being intensely scrutinised by everyone they occupy space with. Ironically, the only relationship that feels like it evolves in any capacity is with Rohan, for “better” or worse (STOP watching me dude). Nash is just sort of there, a vaguely judgemental room divider. 

As for Nash, they’re perhaps one of the only people who might be in our corner, yet when the MC first wakes up, after they ask how we're doing, ‘good guy’ Nash’s next inclination is to indulge their petty jealousy over their crush getting intimate with someone else, never mind that it was actually rape! Thanks mate 👍🏻

Not to mention, if the MC is the best operative on offer, what are the rest like? Will the MC ever best their second arch-nemesis: hard surfaces? Despite being a highly trained agent, they spend virtually every interaction on the back foot, unable to school their expression or suppress their emotions, let alone demonstrate skill or expertise (except when K said I did a good job tightening a pipe or whatever, thanks K 👍🏻).

They've yet to have a chance to demonstrate their capability at all, kicking off with a bad streak right from get go, and are further reduced to a stumbling, raw nerve of a person. Which, ok, fine, I can roll with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but I was constantly left wondering why, despite a lifetime of training, brutality, depersonalisation etc., there is so little to show for it? Would their experiences not have desensitised them somewhat, or provided interesting mechanisms to fall back on? I wanted to know more! Instead it’s like the character is experiencing the world afresh, without any internal context or history for the reader to grip onto. The one moment where my MC pulled their head out of their ass and said something to smooth things over with the pick up crew was so uncharacteristically practical that I had to re-read to it to confirm it was actually me speaking. I was gnawing at the bars of my enclosure to experience some shred of cool-action-agent content at least once, or to say something stinging or observant at least once.

I do wish the MC had more opportunities to flex their skills and force of will, but the one time the reader gets any modicum of sweet catharsis is when you pull a trigger/ throw a punch, something anyone could do, and which is swiftly followed by a narrative slap on the wrist for being a meanie (not in front of the CHILDREN! :O) and 15 pages of “look what you’ve done they’re still bleeding :( now they’re scared of you“ Ok? Good? What reason have I been given to care about what any of them think of me? 

It's frustrating that there’s no hard edge to the character and their thoughts, and no grey area to occupy for any length of time as a reader. There’s a punishing undercurrent of persecution to everything, and some of the writing is positively indulgent in its attempts to make you feel like a piece of crap, page after page, the message couldn’t be any clearer. I felt like I was reading the historical account of a villain’s life, as written by an evangelical monk. There’s a lack of context for the reader, subtle or otherwise, to bridge this huge chasm between how we view the MC and how the other characters view them. I suspect it isn't intentional, but it felt like I was playing a fallen character in a morality play, just waiting for some big moral lesson to rear its head, except I haven’t even had the personal pleasure of sinning yet.

Can't a girl have some villainous fun before being condemned to a life of atonement? :(

Lastly, I never signed up to be a spy-parent, so no stern talking-to necessary K, you can have ‘em, congrats on becoming a father! I’ll be paying my child support in kidneys. Also, sweetie, don’t hang out with the rapist. 

Have a great day!

i really love the ability to just straight up kill Rohan. like, i absolutely hate their entire character and don't give a shit about any of their justifications (not a criticism of the game, to be clear. they're well enough written) 

the fact they're a love interest would mean, in most cases of this type of game, that the MC would be expected to just forget what Rohan did and what happened, so i was pleasantly surprised when the option came up to murder them. 

i understand this is probably not the good choice, but it just feels way more real to me than any other option would be, like forgiving them or letting them live. 

i guess what i'm saying is i like the option to be an angry, vengeful person. it's a pleasant change from some other games like this, and is very satisfying as a gameplay experience. 

*MILD SPOILERS* idk it happens in chapter one.

but i feels like rohan is written to be female or nb. i chose for them to be male. and they still ask if i'll walk 'a gal' home. and are then mad that me (a woman) thinks he (a man) should be able to get himself home on his own. if anything he should be offering to walk me home.

also if you do the sex scene it felt very much like they were the girl. or playing the female part? idk maybe i'm explaining it badly. like they are sitting on the dresser while we're making out, and then they straddle you on the bed. definitely less of a big deal (not comment worthy). but it did feel strange.

Without offending can I just ask what the sex of the nbs are?

Bloody brilliant, my favourite is Captain Lee. Can't wait for more.

i feel like i should get like three more achievements for horrible taste. i am still unfortunately in love with rohan, despite his everything

This is so good omg! I will replay this as many times as I have to, to get that Besties achievement. Joia my little angel, we will be besties. I have died trying, so nothin is goin to stop me 😭🤧✊🏾

What's the total word count as of now?

Fantastic update - I've played this game to death since I first came across it, so every new update is a blessing. Love Rohan. Very intrigued about this new alien!

Figured I'd mention a bug. Okay, a bug AND something that I found a bit weird. If you choose to contact Scytha instead of Rohan's "person", when you come onboard Lance scans all the ID's, then you get a video call from the Director, right? Well there's a bug where, if you didn't kill Rohan (like in my case), and you lie to the director and say you did, MC will recall Rohan's dead body in the text as if he'd killed him, when Rohan is actually fine and well and on the ship.
The other thing I found really weird was speaking about Rohan with the Director after lying about killing him, she describes what he look like, etc. However, considering this is the director, and Lance literally just scanned Rohan's ID when he came on board, AND found IVI with him, surely the lie would completely fail as she'd already know Rohan was on the ship? I mean, the Director would surely have already been informed, by Lance, of the fact that someone who was NOT a Scytha operative had IVI in their possession, and the ID of that individual was that of Rohan. Unless Rohan is using a fake ID, which is pretty probable (although the MC could probably speculate or come to that conclusion, to make it clear to the player), but that still wouldn't stop the Director from being informed of, and wanting to know the reason for, IVI being in the possession of someone in your entourage, rather than in your head.

Anyway, on tenterhooks for what comes next. More sexual tension with Rohan, and maybe some payoff for it? :D

 I like it, but I have some questions.

In the chapter 4, if you decide to call to your organization and lie about R, you describe R's name and appearance in details. Is that a bug or that's what suppose to happen?

Also, if you get a "vaccine shot", you get an "Unexpected token" error.

Is this story still being worked on?